My clavicle is back

This one is short and sweet. My clavicle is making itself known again.

I recall a conversation I had several years ago with a relative who has struggled similarly with her weight over the years. She said that she was always able to tell when it was time to start watching her weight, when she could no longer detect her clavicle. I remember that it was a moment of communitas between the two of us, as I remarked about a similar observation.

So as I was uploading pictures of yesterday's party (my eldest son graduated from high school this week, and we threw a family swim and barbecue party in his honor), I spotted it in a picture of myself. My clavicle.

Blast from the past

We study history, so they say, as a means of avoiding repeating the mistakes of the past. Well, I just went through and re-read my whole blog here from day one, and I have to admit that I really wish I had kept it up all the way through. It is inspiring to myself to see where I have been and how far I have come. Though, I don't know if I'll really learn anything from this revelation and continue with it as frequently as I should, but I'd like to think that I will.

Certainly, the process of losing weight is an emotional journey. It is also quite the trek through time. As I reach new lows, I can recall specific instances of when I was last at that weight as well as many of the emotions that were associated with those places. These days, I'm feeling especially emotional. For the first time in a long time, I'm beginning to feel pretty again, and it is giving me a great confidence that affects many other aspects of my life. I look to my future with eagerness, like there is something wonderful waiting for me just around the next bend.

But as I look into my past, I'm reminded of friends--significant and platonic--from days gone by. One thing no one ever wants to do is to reconnect with someone and have them compare how you now to what you were then--especially when you've gone downhill! But you can't expect that not to happen. I admit that I notice when others have changed for the worse, just as I make note of those who still look damned good, much to my chagrin!

Well, the internet is a very interesting place. Where else can you find people you used to know, see their pictures, intuit precisely who they are today by the little blurbs they post on places like Facebook and Twitter? While I have to say I really have not gotten into the whole Twitter thing, I admit to being totally addicted to Facebook. (Shut up; you know you are too, so don't judge me!)

Anyway, I think I've been on Facebook for about 2 years now. In that time, I have received many friend requests from people I used to attend school with. Well, I really couldn't have that; I mean, after all, I don't need them seeing what has happened to me after all these years! So, most of them I ignored their requests. I even looked-up an old boyfriend, but no way in hell was I going to invite him to see what has become of me! So I have hitherto kept Facebook primarily for those with whom I have a current personal connection.

One of the few friends from the past I have allowed on my Facebook is my friend Kim (shout out to ya, Kim, 'cause I know you're reading this!) Back in high school, we had ended our friendship in a really bad way. Actually, she wanted to kick my ass, and I think she could have done a pretty damned good job of it! It was due partly to a misunderstanding and partly due to my saying something really stupid and not realizing just how much things one says can hurt someone. We actually reconnected through classmates.com, and without getting into all the details, let me just say that over the past few years since doing so, it has really reminded me of how good of friends we had been before our falling out.

When you end a relationship with someone on a bad note, you tend to not recall all the good times you had, and all you can think of is the pain and anger and resentment you have towards them. That is a shame. So after many instances of talking on the phone, emailing back and forth, and now posting on Facebook, it has really reminded me how much I had once really valued our friendship, and it is sad that so many years went by before I realized this. I am happy to say that I can once again call her my friend.

(Segway) I know it seems that I ramble mindlessly, but like Virginia Woolf, I do eventually get to the point, and all the stuff in-between--extraneous as it may seem--is integral to the point I'm trying to make. So back to Facebook, and back to my weight-loss.

So now that I have lost this certain amount of weight; now that I don't feel so disgustingly huge and ugly; now that I have a restored sense of confidence, I am brave enough to allow old friends into my Facebook. I did finally send a message to that old beau, and do you know what he said to me? He said I was still beautiful. Beautiful! That really put a smile on face!

When all is said and done, it seems what we're really looking for is acceptance from those who mean something to us whether it was in the past or it is now. Like I said before, losing this weight has affected me in ways emotional and temporal. But it has also restored so much to me in ways I would never have expected.

Still going strong!

I'm still hanging in there!

As of my last weigh-in, I have lost a total of 61.4lbs! My BMI is no longer in the "obese" range. Thank goodness because that really is an ugly word. My bra size continues to decrease at a much faster rate than my ass, unfortunately.

Training is going well, and I have gotten much stronger. For the first time in my life, my legs are getting shapely. I can do 20 push-ups now. I think when I started I could only do seven.

I have a summer challenge set for myself; I'd like to be down to 165 by 6/21. Only 2.2lbs to go to meet that one.

A long time...

It has been a long time since I've posted to the blog. No doubt, many of you probably think I have given up. Not so. I just started thinking not many people were reading the blog, so I've been posting my updates to Facebook every week instead.

This week marks a major milestone for me. At today's weigh-in, I dropped 3.8lbs this week for a total of 50lbs since July 13!! I had set my second mini-goal of 50lbs by my 40th birthday, or 50 by 40 as I have been calling it. Two weeks ago, I had been up 1.8lbs, and it was looking like I would not be able to make my goal.

We had gone out to Ruth's Chris for Valentine's Day, and I had splurged on 2 martinis, the petite filet mignon WITH BUTTER, 2 pieces of bread, a salad with balsamic vinaigrette, a shared-half of an order of broccoli au gratin, and creme brulee for dessert. So at that weigh-in--despite the fact that I had sufficient weekly points and activity points to cover the splurge--I was up 1.8lbs.

Was I to be found cowering in a fetal position or rocking back 'n forth in a dark corner? No. That bodacious meal was SO worth the 1.8lb gain. After all, I hadn't had a splurge like that in a long time! I've decided life is going to be full of ups and downs, celebrations, holidays, sad moments...many times when I'll feel the need/want to eat a little more. I've accepted that that is going to be a part of living on the program and making this a way of life for me.

But back to my point. After that gain, it looked like I would not make my goal on time. But I did!

Incidentally, what prompted me to write this entry today, has to do with a fullness that I am feeling right now. No; it is not the 11 point enchilada dinner that I just ate.

It is the support that I am receiving from my friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, fellow Weight Watchers, people I converse with in forums, all cheering me along the way. Every week when I post my updates to Facebook, I am congratulated by all these wonderful people. I get messages that I am inspiring others in their own weight-loss efforts.

I am humbled. I am touched. My cup runneth over, and I'm not referring to my bra.

From the bottom of my heart. Thank you to everyone who is supporting me on this journey. There aren't words enough to express how much it really means to me.

Weigh-in Monday!

I am happy to announce that I lost 1.8 pounds this week for a total of 27.4 pounds. I'm now down to 201.2. My current mini-goal is to be 198.6 (below 200 and an exact 30lbs) by November 30 when I go on a cruise with my girlfriends. That is still 6 weeks away, and I'm only 2.6 lbs away from that goal. So I'm confident I'll make it.

I also had a new recipe to share, but as usual, I ate it before I could take a picture of it. This whole photographing one's food before eating it is just so not natural. (And besides, I'm such a terrible food photographer. I really need to learn some tips on photographing food!)

Anyway, I assure you all it was absolutely delicious!

Fall = Comfort Food

It is that time of year again. The days are getting a little shorter, the trees are beginning to lose their leaves. And if you live here in Southern California, it is 94 degrees and windy!!!

And yet, it is still Fall. I love the change of seasons! There is always a great sense of change--no matter which season we're going into. I don't know about you, but for some reason the advent of Fall always makes me more sleepy in the evenings. I regularly exist on little sleep; I always have. I typically go to bed somewhere around 11:00 pm, and I'm usually up around 5:30 am. But lately, I cannot seem to stay awake in the evenings. I have been falling asleep sometime after 9:00 pm. Thank goodness for the dvr because it would really chap my hide if I missed all my favorite tv shows.

Anyway, in addition to my new sleepiness, I find myself wanting some warm, comforting foods. I have been wanting to make some Tomato Soup, but after our short-lived Fall weather of about 3 whole days, we returned to our typical Southern California climate of almost 100!! However, I still seem to want that soup, so I put my Le Creuset to the flame and concocted this one today.

It is perfect. And it is only 2 points for 1 cup.


* Exported from MasterCook *

Creamy Tomato Soup

Recipe By :Misty simon
Serving Size : 8 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Soups and Stews

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
2 tablespoons butter
2 small carrots -- peeled and diced
2 small celery ribs -- diced
1 small onion -- diced
1 garlic clove -- minced
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups 1% low-fat milk
2 bay leaves, whole
2 28 ounce cans canned whole tomatoes
1 tablespoon sugar

In a 4-quart or larger sauce pot, melt butter. Saute the carrots, celery,
onions, and garlic until the onions are translucent. Add the spices and
the salt and stir.

Stir in the flour until well combined. Add the milk while stirring. Cook
and stir until the mixture becomes thick and bubbly--about 1 to 2 minutes.

Add the tomatoes and the bay leaves. Break up the tomatoes with a large
spoon. Do not worry about how coarse or fine you chop it, as the mixture
will be pureed later. Add the sugar.

Cook over medium-low heat until carrots and celery are tender.

Remove from heat. Remove bay leaves and transfer the mixture in batches to
a blender (or you may use an immersion blender in the pot). Be very
careful when you first turn on the blender. Make sure to cover the top
with a towel and hold down firmly as you turn on the blender. The steam
can force the top off when the blender is turned on. Continue until the
whole mixture is pureed. You may process it to your desired smoothness. I
prefer it very smooth.

Transfer the pureed mixture back into the sauce pot. You can add back the
bay leaves if you like. Heat and stir until the mixture is nice and hot.

Makes 8 1-cup servings.

Description:
"A warm, creamy tomato soup perfect for dipping in the corners of your
grilled cheese sandwich."
S(WW POINTS):
"2"
Copyright:
"©2009 Misty Simon"
Yield:
"2 quarts"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 111 Calories; 4g Fat (27.9%
calories from fat); 4g Protein; 18g Carbohydrate; 3g Dietary Fiber; 10mg
Cholesterol; 597mg Sodium. Exchanges: 0 Grain(Starch); 2 Vegetable; 0
Non-Fat Milk; 1/2 Fat; 0 Other Carbohydrates.

NOTES : The addition of cayenne pepper in this soup is not enough
to make it spicy. Rather, it simply adds a warm depth of
flavor, so do not be afraid to use it.

Nutr. Assoc. : 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2470 0

Thyroid Wars

So as you know, I've been taking thyroid medication now since about May of this year. It has made a dramatic difference in both my ability to lose weight as well as helping me not feel so tired and irritable. The medication I've been taking is Armour Thyroid. Armour Thyroid differs from Synthroid in that it is a T3-T4 combination, while Synthroid is only one of the two (I forget which one.) Some doctors swear by it, and others curse it. My doctor is of the school that swears by it. And seeing how well I've done on it, I do as well.

Well, turns out, Armour Thyroid is on a major back-order, and this is according to the company that produces it. Consequently, it has been difficult to get a hold of lately. Rumor has it that it may no longer be manufactured. This is very troubling to me. There are hundreds of thousands of people who take this on a daily basis. How can they just stop manufacturing something so basic?! I have heard stories that the FDA is considering not approving new lots of it. The buzz about the 'net is that there is "evidence" that it is not as consistent as the synthetic version. That to me sounds very political.

When I did a Google search, I found many complaints from the people who have had to switch to Levothyroxine--that they are not doing as well, their hair is falling out...all kinds of horror stories. I'm really nervous about making the switch.

It was suggested to me to find a compounding pharmacy to make it up the T3-T4 combination for me in the same ratios as Armour Thyroid, and I did do that. But theirs is a synthetic mixture while mine was natural and produced from a pig's thyroid.

Anyhoo, that is how this stands. I have about 2 month's worth of the real deal left before I have to switch to the compounded synthetic version. I swear if this jacks with my weight loss efforts, I'll really be upset!